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How to Deal with Your Scary Red Eye
At some point, you might be the victim of one of these scenarios: You rub your eye really hard, or you walk into something, or you just wake up with a red,...

Video Education Library


  1. Why did the guy try to avoid eye surgery by rubbing ketchup in his eyes?  He had heard that Heinz sight was 20/20.
  2. Patient: “Doc, I get a stabbing pain in my eye every time I take a sip of coffee."  Doctor: “Have you tried taking the spoon out of the mug?"
  3. What do you call a penguin with no eye?  A pengun!
  4. At what elevation is your vision the best?  See Level.
  5. Why don’t optometrists use tape measures?  They’re really good at eyeballing it.
  6. What did the eyeball say to the eyelid?  "I wish you wouldn't keep me in the dark!"
  7. Why did the pirate walk into the bar?  He had his patch on the wrong eye.
  8. Cop: “Let me know if you see the suspect with one eye.” Bystander: “I already saw him run that way, but I was using both my eyes.”
  9. Man 1: “I stopped seeing my girlfriend two days ago.”  Man 2: “Really?  What happened?” Man 1: “She accidentally poked me in the eyes.”
  10. Woman 1: “I used to date a man with a lazy eye.”  Woman 2: “Why did you stop?”  Woman 1: “He was seeing someone on the side.”
  11. Patient: “Doc, my eyes are really dry.”  Eye Doctor: “Here, smell this onion.”  Patient: “That made me cry!”  Eye Doctor: “Great, I pulled out the onion to make you moist-your-eyes.”
  12. How are your eye doctor and your teacher the same?  They both spend their days testing pupils!

Stewart Family Eye Care

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Ask Dr. Stewart Your Eye Care Questions

What can be expected during a contact lens fitting?

A patient can expect to have a different experience when having a contact lens fitting. In addition to the eyeglass exam, questions will be asked to determine which contact lens will work best for them. Will they want to leave the lenses in their eyes overnight or will they remove them every day? Will they wear them only occasionally or will they be for everyday use? Do they want a contact lens that they throw away every day or do they want a contact lens that they have to clean and disinfect? If the patient is over age 40 and has a compromised ability to see up close, how will they see up close with their contact lenses? Will they wear readers over their distant contacts, or will they wear multifocal contacts, or will they wear monovision?

Are some people more prone to having Dry Eyes than others?

Experiencing dry eye symptoms is more common as we grow older, particularly in people 50 years of age and older. Hormonal changes in women who are experiencing menopause or who are post-menopausal. Inflammation in our body can affect the tear gland's ability to produce tears. Eye or health conditions such as glaucoma, diabetes, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, and Sjogren's Syndrome can be associated with Dry Eyes. Environmental conditions such as dry winter air, dry indoor heated air, working on the computer, and wearing contact lenses can cause Dry Eyes.

Are there advantages to single-use contact lenses? What are they?

Single-use daily wear contacts are convenient to the patient and a healthy recommendation from their eye doctor. At the end of the day, the patient only has to dispose of the contacts. There is no need to take the contacts out to clean and disinfect them. The patients time and money spent on solutions and caring for them are eliminated. Not to mention that the next time they wear a contact, they will be wearing a brand new contact! The single best recommendation your eye doctor can make is to recommend single-use daily wear contacts. They are the healthiest contact that can be worn. The contact lens pathology issues of wearing the same contact for two or four weeks such as neovascularization, microcystic edema, and bacterial infections are greatly reduced.

What is an eye infection?

Your eyes can get infections from bacteria, fungi, or viruses. Eye infections can occur in different parts of the eye and can affect just one eye or both. Two common eye infections are conjunctivitis (also known as pink eye) and lid styes which are swollen lid bumps that can also be painful. Common signs of an eye infection are pain, itching, or a sensation of a foreign body in the eye, photosensitivity, redness or small red lines in the white of the eye, discharge of yellow pus that may be crusty upon awaking, and tears.

What happens during a typical Diabetic Eye Exam?

Your Eye Doctor will evaluate the back of your eye called the Retina to check for leaking blood vessels. Diabetic retinopathy occurs when elevated blood sugars damage the walls of the blood vessels. The vessel walls may thicken, leak, develop clots, close off, or grow balloon-like defects called microaneurysms.

My eyes tear all the time. Why do you call it Dry Eyes?

Your eyes have extra tears because your eyes produce extra tears to combat irritation and dryness. A better way to describe Dry Eyes is tear film instability, which refers to the composition of your tears not being in the proper composition. Stopping eyes from producing extra tears is a goal in the treatment of Dry Eyes.

At what age should my child have his/her eyes examined?

If you ask 10 different Doctors you will get 10 different answers. Newborns have their eyes checked in the birthing ward for starters. From birth to age 5 their eyes are growing. At age 5 is a good time to schedule a regular eye examination, however, if any unusual eye behavior is observed under age 5 an eye exam should be scheduled at that time. Unusual eye behavior such as eye squinting, a head tilt, or having to get close to see.